so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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