last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
no you cant smoke seaweed
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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