Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
