I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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