my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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