he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
