lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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