We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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