she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
