You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
