Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
