Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
