ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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