why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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