Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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