Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
