I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
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