Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
