new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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