Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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