i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
