Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I want to make a zoo with you.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
