Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
