is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
