whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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