While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
