I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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