I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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