I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Come on in and take your pants off
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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