YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Non-Jews are for practice
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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