I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
