you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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