im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
