I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
