I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
