im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
