In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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