how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
