Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
