ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
