Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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