My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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