I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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