he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
