I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
