He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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