Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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