Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
