I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
