i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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